Tobias Funke: An Analyst Therapist, an Analrapist
This one’s going to be rather short because frankly, all you need to know about Tobias is referenced in the title above: “Blue.” I’ve been excited to write about Tobias since last week’s post about his wife, Lindsay. Tobias, the least respected of the Bluth clan, is an analyst-therapist (see: caption) and a gay “never nude.”
So much to love here. The show’s only one-trick pony, Tobias’ appearances invariably center around one thing: unwittingly gay double entendres. As such, the question of whether or not he procreated with Lindsay forever looms in the background. (Remember Maeby?) Inside the model home Tobias is still considered something of an outsider, as he garners even less respect than Gob and Buster. His place in the family tree not yet secure, Tobias remains something of an afterthought in the house and perhaps more interestingly, within his own marriage. (Lindsay did marry him, after all, to spite her parents. Joke’s on her I suppose.) His training as a psychiatrist makes him even more enigmatic to the family, as does his perpetual unemployment. Tobias’ enigmatic existence is news to him, though, as he remains helplessly blind to the motives behind his most bizarre behavior (e.g., he once joined the Blue Man Group because he was really sad, administered CPR to a guy who wasn’t dying, and he continually wears denim cut-offs in the shower). He has spent the lion’s share of his marriage in the closet, literally (afraid of being nude in front of his wife) and figuratively (he’s super gay). As a result, his marriage to Lindsay is now the culmination of years spent lying and secretly wishing that he were an actor. Additionally, he is completely inept as a father. Thankfully, Maeby is aware of this and takes it upon herself to be her own legal guardian. (At one point she even takes a job as a screenwriter in Hollywood – maybe Tobias and Lindsay did something right?)
Tobias, like many of the Bluth clan, has very little to do from show to show. He doesn’t work anymore, is completely uninvolved in Maeby’s life (choosing instead to give her “distance”), and isn’t trusted enough in Bluth-circles to take over any of the banana stands or work in corporate. Unlike many of the Bluths though, Tobias does spend a fair bit of time thinking about more than just the next night out, the next martini, or the next lawsuit. He’s rather contemplative, often wondering aloud about how to work out the kinks in his personal life, become a bigger contributor to the family’s pooled finances, and find a professional calling that “fills him up.” For my money, Tobias’ greatest moments on the show are typically those moments between him and Michael when he tries to impart some tidbit of wisdom or psychological insight into a confusing situation (of which there are many). Michael, always the gentleman, usually turns the tables on Tobias, urging him instead to look deeper into his own confusing lifestyle. There’s usually a lot of staring in disbelief.
Tobias: [after Michael asks Tobias to buy a tape recorder to record conversations of himself speaking] You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder. Do you have any idea how often you say the word “afraid”?
Michael: Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi.
Tobias: And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
Michael: [looking at a gift basket Michael received] Didn’t you get one of those, too? You bought Lindsay at the same auction.
Tobias: I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Tobias listens to a day’s worth of his own recordings to see what Michael was referring to.
Tobias: [on tape] Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!
Tobias: [out loud] Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias: [on tape] I’ve been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can.
Tobias: [out loud] Context…
Tobias: [on tape] I wouldn’t mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator: And he realizes there IS something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias: [out loud] Tobias… you blow hard!
What’s not to love?
I really liked this! I would have to say this is an very thoughtful post that needs mentioning elsewhere.